The Loved Ones

Yeah… long time since the last blog! Writing entices me back to blogging. Anyways… for the MTv roadie fans, Roadie 7 is on. Today I was watching the Mumbai auditions and was moved by one of the contestant’s statement. She was asked by the panel “What do you miss the most about your (late) mother?” I was taken aback by her answer. She replied “At dinner time mom would plead us to have some food at-least a hundred times. She would even scold us for that. Now that she is not with us, there is silence at the table.”

I was moved not because she was missing her demised mother or that sympathy overtook me. It just shows our nature and our perspective towards Relations that we cherish. That brings me to a very fundamental question: What is a Relation? Or precisely how do we define a Relationship? Some of the common answers that we might hear are: Well.. we are born in the same family (parents, siblings, distant cousins etc)Friends Colleagues
Oh well and there are the degrees of closeness associated with the above terminologies. So ultimately what is a Relation? I feel the above are just means to classify a broader set of Relations. For eg: We call “parents” as friends at times. Sometimes (or most of the times) our “friends” turn into advisors and friends turn into many “other” Relations too… So ultimately the terms are a mere indication of closeness of a person. But still, what is a Relation or what is closeness? Can we understand it quantitatively or qualitatively? I personally think, not quantitatively but definitely qualitatively. A Relation to me is how we perceive the person in front of me and of the person I picture in my brain in the absence of that person. For eg: I may dislike a person standing right in front of me, but at the same time might give up anything, to spend a moment with a person who has long ceased. So, loosely, a Relation is not physical but it’s more or a lot more beyond the 5 basic senses (and the 5 additional senses) of us humans. The senses are nothing but a channel or a prop to “improve” a “Relationship”. Some might argue that the paragraph leaves no room for defining a Relation then. Well I think that’s not true. Look at these links and ponder. (Link 1 & Link 2)

As is questioned in the revered scriptures of Sanatana Dharma (and others too, of which I am not aware!) “Who am I?” Implied in the question is, “I” am different from “myself”. “Myself” probably being the body, which in essence is the beneficiary of those 10 senses and “I” most likely being the soul or the inner-self. So with the premise that each being has a soul and a body, I make a bold claim that a Relation is between “souls”. The moment a soul perceives “something” nice in the other, a Relation is stitched. I feel that the fabric of Relation is sort of hazy and vaguely defined and probably that is the beauty of any Relation. With such vagueness come undefined and unreasonable expectations. Had the Relation been defined in binary logic, that followed by the computer’s soul, probably we wouldn’t have had conflicts in our personal lives. If you or I observe keenly, most of our sorrows come from the people we care the most or love the most. We under the pretext of knowing a person assume and expect a certain course of actions and responses from the Loved one and any deviation from it considered a not-so-good gesture. Let’s not forget that its soul we’ve bonded with and souls are imperfect. Besides that every soul will be bonded to many other souls too so there is always a push-pull effect on us. Let it exist as that is the beauty of a relation. Next time “aai-baba” (mom-dad) scold me for not sleeping on time I will simply say “I love you aai-baba. You are my loved ones!!” Warning for all my freaky friends…. Don’t try my patience… @#%* the soul.. I will make your lives miserable…. Cheers chicas!